Shady

I wanted to share some funny quotes i found
and if anyone has quotes post them here

# In a world without walls and fences who needs Windows and Gates?
# Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
# Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can't remember
# Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
# F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
# For a good time, call (415) 642-9483.
# Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
# Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses.
# How come wrong numbers are never busy?
# How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
# I have a strong will but a weak won't.
# I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.
# I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.
# I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
# If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?
# If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
# If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
# If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything.
# Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
# Linux: because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
# Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
# Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
# Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
# Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.
# Some people wish to get what they deserve, while others fear the same.
# Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.
# There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
# To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
# War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
# We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

__________________

• Constants aren't
• Variables won't
• Patches - don't
• Auto Correct - isn't
• Microsoft excel- doesn't
• The only program that runs perfectly every time, is a virus