Post A Joke...

ramodkk · 01-31-2007, 01:43 AM

Hey, just want to start a joke-sharing post. I hope everyone has at least one joke! LOL.

There was guy #1, guy #2 and guy #3, they were all in jail, ready to serve their death penalty.
Official: Ok, im going to let you choose how you want to die, you have three options, a headshot, the electric chair or the gas chamber, get ready to decide.
(the official asks guy #1 first)
Official: Ok, how do you want to die?
Guy #1: Hmm... a headshot...
(The official puts him in place and kills him with a headshot, then asks the Guy #2...)
Official: Your turn guy #2, how do you want to die?
Guy #2: [thinking to himself: a headshot? no no, gas chamber? H@#$ no!!] Ok, i want to die in the electric chair...
(Official takes guy #2 to the chair room and sits him in electric chair and turns the power on but the chair didn't work, and theres a law that if the chair doesn't work, it still counts as if you paid your penalty, so you're free)
Official: Due to problems with the chair, you're free Guy #2
Guy #2: Thanks but before i go can i say bye to my friend Guy #3?
Official: make it quick!
(Guy #2 exits chair room and talks to Guy #3)
Guy #2: Hey, my friend (whispering: the chair doesn't work!) im going to miss you (whispering: the chair doesn't work!) I hope you regret of everything bad you did when you get to heaven.. (whispering: remember, the chair doesn't work!)
(Guy #2 leaves the room and the official asks the last person, guy #3...)
Official: are you ready guy #3? how do you want to die?
Guy #3: Well, a headshot is too scary and since the electric chair doesn't work, i'll pick the gas chamber!!

HOPE YOU LIKED IT...

72_lemans · 01-31-2007, 02:15 AM

There are 3 guys that are standing at the pearly gates. God opens the gate and allows them to enter. When they walk through the gate they see a room full of clocks.

Guy #1 asks god what all the clocks are for. God replies that the clocks are the rate of masturbation of all the men on earth. Guy #1 asks god if he can see his clock, so god shows it to him. It's spinning relatively fast, but not much faster than a regular clock.

Guy #2 becomes curious about his and asks god where his is. God shows guy #2 his clock, it is spinning quite a bit faster than guy #1's, but still not too fast.

By this point, guy #3 is about to burst out laughing at how fast the other 2 guys clocks are going, and the other 2 see this. When they see him snickering, they ask god where his clock is. God smiles and says that guy #3's clock is in his office, being used as a personal fan!

kobaj · 01-31-2007, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 72_lemans

There are 3 guys that are standing at the pearly gates. God opens the gate and allows them to enter. When they walk through the gate they see a room full of clocks.......

Ive heard that one before, not worded as well though.

Here is my joke, learned it in history.

Q.How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?

A.If it was invented anywhere else it would be called the teethbrush.

Ben · 01-31-2007, 03:26 AM

There were 3 men walking on a beach when one of them noticed a container washing ashore. The man picked up the container and apparently touched it just right for a Genie to pop out and grant them all one wish.

Now These were very sophisticated men and were quite smart. But everyone knows you can always gain more knowledge. (But maybe sometimes too much?)

So the first man wished the genie to make him ten times smarter then he already was. And the genie went *poof* and the first man was ten times smarter.

The second man wanted the same except he wished to be one hundred times smarter and the genie once again went *poof* and the second man was one hundred times smarter.

Now the third man wanted the same, except to be one thousand times smarter and the genie accepted and said *poof* you're a women!

Jet · 01-31-2007, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halian

There were 3 men walking on a beach when one of them noticed a container washing ashore. The man picked up the container and apparently touched it just right for a Genie to pop out and grant them all one wish.

Now These were very sophisticated men and were quite smart. But everyone knows you can always gain more knowledge. (But maybe sometimes too much?)

So the first man wished the genie to make him ten times smarter then he already was. And the genie went *poof* and the first man was ten times smarter.

The second man wanted the same except he wished to be one hundred times smarter and the genie once again went *poof* and the second man was one hundred times smarter.

Now the third man wanted the same, except to be one thousand times smarter and the genie accepted and said *poof* you're a women!

Totally false

Ben · 01-31-2007, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

Totally false

Believe what you want!

Verve · 01-31-2007, 03:42 AM

Once, an old man was on his deathbed and he called in a friend, a priest, and a lawyer.

The old man said to them "I know that I can trust each of you to grant me my dying wish... I'm giving to each of you 1 million dollars. I want you to put this money in the casket before I'm buried." All three of them agreed. A short while later, the man died.

When the funeral came and the man was buried, the priest turned to the friend and the lawyer and said "My friends, I have a confession to make. I didn't put all the money in the casket. Instead, I took a third of it offered it to the poor." Then the friend said to them "I have to admit it as well, I only put half of the money in the casket. I needed to help out my relatives who are going through rough times." Then the lawyer looked at both of them in disgust, saying "I'm ashamed of both of you! I put in a check for the full amount!"

PohTayToez · 01-31-2007, 03:44 AM

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: Take your foot off of it's head.

Ben · 01-31-2007, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PohTayToez

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: Take your foot off of it's head.

Man..that was harsh..

Impr3ssiv3 · 01-31-2007, 04:08 AM

i know some really bad ones if you want

01-31-2007, 01:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
ramodkk Diamond Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: There > Age: 16 Posts: 4,010	Post A Joke... Hey, just want to start a joke-sharing post. I hope everyone has at least one joke! LOL. There was guy #1, guy #2 and guy #3, they were all in jail, ready to serve their death penalty. Official: Ok, im going to let you choose how you want to die, you have three options, a headshot, the electric chair or the gas chamber, get ready to decide. (the official asks guy #1 first) Official: Ok, how do you want to die? Guy #1: Hmm... a headshot... (The official puts him in place and kills him with a headshot, then asks the Guy #2...) Official: Your turn guy #2, how do you want to die? Guy #2: [thinking to himself: a headshot? no no, gas chamber? H@#$ no!!] Ok, i want to die in the electric chair... (Official takes guy #2 to the chair room and sits him in electric chair and turns the power on but the chair didn't work, and theres a law that if the chair doesn't work, it still counts as if you paid your penalty, so you're free) Official: Due to problems with the chair, you're free Guy #2 Guy #2: Thanks but before i go can i say bye to my friend Guy #3? Official: make it quick! (Guy #2 exits chair room and talks to Guy #3) Guy #2: Hey, my friend (whispering: the chair doesn't work!) im going to miss you (whispering: the chair doesn't work!) I hope you regret of everything bad you did when you get to heaven.. (whispering: remember, the chair doesn't work!) (Guy #2 leaves the room and the official asks the last person, guy #3...) Official: are you ready guy #3? how do you want to die? Guy #3: Well, a headshot is too scary and since the electric chair doesn't work, i'll pick the gas chamber!! HOPE YOU LIKED IT... __________________ "If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris" E2160 @ 2.7GHz AC Freezer 7 Pro Gigabyte P35-DS3L 2GB BallistiX Tracers DDR2-1000 Sapphire HD3870 Rosewill RD500 500W Rosewill Modded Case 3DMark06: 10,017 Winner of Photo Tourney: What were they thinking? & Grass

01-31-2007, 03:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ben VIP Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Decatur, Georgia Posts: 2,928	There were 3 men walking on a beach when one of them noticed a container washing ashore. The man picked up the container and apparently touched it just right for a Genie to pop out and grant them all one wish. Now These were very sophisticated men and were quite smart. But everyone knows you can always gain more knowledge. (But maybe sometimes too much?) So the first man wished the genie to make him ten times smarter then he already was. And the genie went poof and the first man was ten times smarter. The second man wanted the same except he wished to be one hundred times smarter and the genie once again went poof and the second man was one hundred times smarter. Now the third man wanted the same, except to be one thousand times smarter and the genie accepted and said poof you're a women! __________________ Winner of Photo Tournaments: Architecture, Reflection and Hope/Joy Mobo: [Intel D945GNT] CPU: [Intel Pentium D 2.8GHz] RAM: [Corsair 1GB DDR2] GPU: [XFX Geforce 8500GT] HDD: [Maxtor 100GB - Western Digital 250GB] PSU: [Rosewill 450w] Did you know that if you say gullible really slowly it sounds like Goat Cheese?

01-31-2007, 03:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
Verve Diamond Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Tampa Bay, Florida Age: 18 Posts: 2,486	Once, an old man was on his deathbed and he called in a friend, a priest, and a lawyer. The old man said to them "I know that I can trust each of you to grant me my dying wish... I'm giving to each of you 1 million dollars. I want you to put this money in the casket before I'm buried." All three of them agreed. A short while later, the man died. When the funeral came and the man was buried, the priest turned to the friend and the lawyer and said "My friends, I have a confession to make. I didn't put all the money in the casket. Instead, I took a third of it offered it to the poor." Then the friend said to them "I have to admit it as well, I only put half of the money in the casket. I needed to help out my relatives who are going through rough times." Then the lawyer looked at both of them in disgust, saying "I'm ashamed of both of you! I put in a check for the full amount!" __________________ Formerly Starwarsman HP DV6885 Special Edition Core2Duo T8100 @ 2.1 GHz 3GB DDR2 Ram 250GB SATA HDD Geforce 8400m GS Vista Home Premium SP1 The Masterplan

01-31-2007, 04:08 AM	#10 (permalink)
Impr3ssiv3 Diamond Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,231	i know some really bad ones if you want __________________ The Shit: Antec P180B ASUS M2N-SLI Deluxe AM2 nForce 570 AMD X2 4200+ AM2 @ 2.42 CORSAIR XMS2 DDR2 800 2X1GB eVGA 256MB 7900GT KO BenQ 19" 2ms LCD Creative Sound Blaster Audigy2 ZS 3DMark03~19601

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01-31-2007, 03:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
PohTayToez Diamond Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Illinois Age: 19 Posts: 2,541	Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Take your foot off of it's head.

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