I know foobar2000 is a very good completely user configurable program, and there is loads of plugins available for it, that let you do all sorts of things on there, I know there is an ipod plugin available too. it is based on titleformatting, and you can probably configure foobar2000 for your exact purposes if you are prepared to spend some time reading about it, downloading plugins, and testing titleformatting code till it is just right. this is a good option, because you can do many many other things on there too, and can use it as your only music player, and have it just how you want it
its free to download the latest version here: