Oh, right, about the POST reporter... It worked when, and only when, I took out my CPU. It was more than happy to tell me, "No CPU installed!" Yes, thanks, I'm well aware of that... Asus tech support told me, in a sort of glazed, apathetic tone that I was met with in most of my exchanges with them, that it was probably a compatibility issue with the BIOS and CPU, and that the BIOS would need to be updated. Well, I wasn't about to send it in to them to do it and wait two or three weeks to find out that they were wrong, so I took it in to CompUSA. I left the board with them overnight, and I got a message the next day from the guy who worked on it saying that he tried everything, but could not get it to POST. Surprise, surprise.
Moral of the story: Asus's tech support is teh sux.
Moral of the story: Asus's tech support is teh sux.