righ click on desktop
click propterties
go to the screen saver tab
click power
go to the advanced tab
look for the thing that says "When I Press the power button on my computer"
then set it so that when u hit the power button it will go in standbye
that is the best thing i can think of...
i can't think y u wouldn't see the standbye icon... are you sure you don't mean hibernation?
Try changing reseting your bios- meaning make it all at default. There may something disabling standy/hibernation. Also do you have any other 3rd party programs controling your power manager? What laptop is this?