Best Computer Quote
- Thread starter Kboy
- Start date
SFR
Truth fears no questions
There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We do not believe this to be a coincidence. ~Jeremy S. Anderson
Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. ~Robert A. Heinlein
If you find yourself thinking of normal everyday objects as if they are somehow computer related, then you must seek help immediately. This is a sure sign that your life is becoming computer dominated.
and my signature.....
Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. ~Robert A. Heinlein
If you find yourself thinking of normal everyday objects as if they are somehow computer related, then you must seek help immediately. This is a sure sign that your life is becoming computer dominated.
and my signature.....
that's not a computer quote, it's Engrishred onion said:
.Heres a few
Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame. ~M.G. Siriam
Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. ~Jeff Pesis
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ~Doug Larson
LOL these quotes are funny^^^^^^^^^^^^^
and mine are quite funny aswell
SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it
A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy
Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies
A computer's attention span is only as long as its power cord
The problem with computers is they do what you tell them
Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error
and mine are quite funny aswell
SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it
A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy
Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies
A computer's attention span is only as long as its power cord
The problem with computers is they do what you tell them
Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error
theres a couple here..:>>>> http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/QuotesComputer.html
"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell."
"Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors."
"If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it ?"
"RAM /abr./: Rarely Adequate Memory."
"The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
"There is nothing that a kick in the balls or a pressure on reset won't solve."
"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light"
"Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Why would anyone ever turn off their computer ?
"Program /n./
1. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages.
2. An exercise in experimental epistemology.
3. A form of art, ostensibly intended for the instruction of computers, which is nevertheless almost inevitably a failure if other programmers can't understand it."
"Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects."
Wow, that's long
"Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors."
"If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it ?"
"RAM /abr./: Rarely Adequate Memory."
"The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
"There is nothing that a kick in the balls or a pressure on reset won't solve."
"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light"
"Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Why would anyone ever turn off their computer ?
- During the winter my computer doubles as an extra radiator.
- Cooling fans generate white noise, which helps me get to sleep.
- Who has time for boot sequences?
- As long as the computer is running, it's not broken.
- Computer doubles as a power failure notification device.
- Can claim CPU cycles donated to SETI@home, folding@home et al, as charitable donations on my income taxes.
- Somebody might say something important on IRC.
- Too difficult to find power switch with eye crust.
- When computer is off, it is no longer protected by the firewall."
"Program /n./
1. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages.
2. An exercise in experimental epistemology.
3. A form of art, ostensibly intended for the instruction of computers, which is nevertheless almost inevitably a failure if other programmers can't understand it."
"Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects."
Wow, that's long
Found a few more:
Users /nm./: collective term for those who use computers. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users: people who break other people's computers.
Users /nm./: collective term for those who use computers. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users: people who break other people's computers.
"Q: How many Ms programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: 2,304. One to write WinCheckLightBulbStatus, one to write WinGripLightBulb..."
A: 2,304. One to write WinCheckLightBulbStatus, one to write WinGripLightBulb..."
"Q: How many Bill Gates does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None, he just defines Darkness™ as the new industry standard..."
"A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."A: None, he just defines Darkness™ as the new industry standard..."
