PC "noob" quotes

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Motoxrdude

Motoxrdude

Active Member
lol yea. People like that are funny. When i godown to the local circuit city crap like that happens so much. Theres this one guy that i swear is always there. Everytime i come in he recognizes me and starts talking about Wow, computers, xboxs, and keeps me up to date with everything! I dont mind it to much though, hes a nice guy, just a little annoying at times :eek:
 
M

mikee

Member
heres a noob story i got emailed sorry if its a lil hard to read but thats just the way i recieved it anyways i think its funny

>> "Rich Hall computer assistance; May I help you?">>>> "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.">>>> "What sort of trouble?">>>> "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.">>>> "Went away?">>>> "They disappeared.">>>> "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?">>>> "Nothing.">>>> "Nothing?">>>> "It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type.">>>> "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?">>>> "How do I tell?">>>> "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?">>>> "What's a sea-prompt?">>>> "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?">>>> "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.">>>> "Does your monitor have a power indicator?">>>> "What's a monitor?">>>> "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a>>>> little light that tells you when it's on?">>>> "I don't know.">>>> "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power>>>> cord goes into it. Can you see that?">>>> "Yes, I think so.">>>> "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the>>>> wall.">>>> "Yes, it is.">>>> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two>>>> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?">>>> "No.">>>> "Well , there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other>>>> cable.">>>> "Okay, here it is.">>>> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of>>>> your computer.">>>> "I can't reach.">>>> "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?">>>> "No.">>>> "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?">>>> "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark.>>>> ""Dark?">>>> "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from>>>> the window.">>>> "Well, turn on the office light then.">>>> "I can't.">>>> "No? Why not?">>>> "Because there's a power failure.">>>> "A power....... a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.>>>> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer>>>> came in?">>>> "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.">>>> "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was>>>> when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.">>>> "Really? Is it that bad?">>>> "Yes, I'm afraid it is.">>>> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?>>>> "Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer.">>
 
diduknowthat

diduknowthat

formerly liuliuboy
mikee said:
heres a noob story i got emailed sorry if its a lil hard to read but thats just the way i recieved it anyways i think its funny

>> "Rich Hall computer assistance; May I help you?">>>> "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.">>>> "What sort of trouble?">>>> "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.">>>> "Went away?">>>> "They disappeared.">>>> "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?">>>> "Nothing.">>>> "Nothing?">>>> "It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type.">>>> "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?">>>> "How do I tell?">>>> "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?">>>> "What's a sea-prompt?">>>> "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?">>>> "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.">>>> "Does your monitor have a power indicator?">>>> "What's a monitor?">>>> "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a>>>> little light that tells you when it's on?">>>> "I don't know.">>>> "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power>>>> cord goes into it. Can you see that?">>>> "Yes, I think so.">>>> "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the>>>> wall.">>>> "Yes, it is.">>>> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two>>>> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?">>>> "No.">>>> "Well , there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other>>>> cable.">>>> "Okay, here it is.">>>> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of>>>> your computer.">>>> "I can't reach.">>>> "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?">>>> "No.">>>> "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?">>>> "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark.>>>> ""Dark?">>>> "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from>>>> the window.">>>> "Well, turn on the office light then.">>>> "I can't.">>>> "No? Why not?">>>> "Because there's a power failure.">>>> "A power....... a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.>>>> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer>>>> came in?">>>> "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.">>>> "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was>>>> when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.">>>> "Really? Is it that bad?">>>> "Yes, I'm afraid it is.">>>> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?>>>> "Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer.">>
Click to expand...


LOL i remember that one, read it a while ago. I wonder if the tech support dude got screwed over by his boss..
 
diduknowthat

diduknowthat

formerly liuliuboy
34erd said:
Geek squads an idiot.

Me: Where are your fans
GS: Right here
Me: Thanks
GS: What do you need it for?
Me: I just want to add another fan to cool my RAM (I've got VX which get s pretty toasty)
GS: Oh, then you need this: (Hands me a $30 BFG ramsink)
Me: I've already got a sink. I just want a fan
GS: Well just bring it in and we'll fix it
Me: No, I just need anotehr fan
GS: (Me being twelve he thinks i'm an idiot) are you sure?
Me: Yes
GS: Cause its only 20 and we'll fix it
Me: No thanks (at this point I'm trying not to be rude because my moms there) Where are the floppys?
GS: Right here
Me: Thanks
GS: But the floppys of the future, are flash drives. See you put it in this thing called a USB port, and it transfer data. Amazing right?
Mom: Yeah! (She's clueless and is about to buy it)
Me: I dont need one I'm just uuh (I was flashing my BIOS, but at the big deal he made from adding a fan, I decided not to mention it)
Click to expand...

lol, yeah i hate it when adults thinks im a computer noob, i was in China buying computers, and heres a conversation i had w/ a computer noob trying to sell me computer...

Me: What graphics card does that computer have'?
Him: Intel Extreme Graphics 3, its the best graphics card right now..*rambles on about how good it is*
Me: right..it sucks, anyways, how much ram?
Him: 256MB, it's all you need, no games today use over that much.
Me: *starts to think he's an idiot..* Why does it say "delux" after the computers model?
Him: ahhh, good question, because motherboards crack after years of use, this comptuer uses harder motherboards, therefore making the computer faster and work better!
Me: *walk away...*
 
Geoff

Geoff

VIP Member
liuliuboy said:
lol, yeah i hate it when adults thinks im a computer noob, i was in China buying computers, and heres a conversation i had w/ a computer noob trying to sell me computer...

Me: What graphics card does that computer have'?
Him: Intel Extreme Graphics 3, its the best graphics card right now..*rambles on about how good it is*
Me: right..it sucks, anyways, how much ram?
Him: 256MB, it's all you need, no games today use over that much.
Me: *starts to think he's an idiot..* Why does it say "delux" after the computers model?
Him: ahhh, good question, because motherboards crack after years of use, this comptuer uses harder motherboards, therefore making the computer faster and work better!
Me: *walk away...*
Click to expand...
lmao! thats amazing
 
suprasteve

suprasteve

New Member
To 34erd: just thought I would tell you that I feel for you, I mean after reading some of your posts, I still don't believe you're only 12. My little brother is 13 and can't even figure out Windows Media Player (and all he uses the computer for is music and IM). Just wait till you're like 15 or 16 and then everybody just expects you to smart off at them, then you can say what's really on your mind, might I suggest tearing the Geek Squad a new one... anyways, just thought I should say that you're like a friggin' prodigy or something and to keep it up cause you'll be making more in high school than the average person with a career does
 
M0ddingMan1a

M0ddingMan1a

New Member
liuliuboy said:
lol, yeah i hate it when adults thinks im a computer noob, i was in China buying computers, and heres a conversation i had w/ a computer noob trying to sell me computer...

Me: What graphics card does that computer have'?
Him: Intel Extreme Graphics 3, its the best graphics card right now..*rambles on about how good it is*
Me: right..it sucks, anyways, how much ram?
Him: 256MB, it's all you need, no games today use over that much.
Me: *starts to think he's an idiot..* Why does it say "delux" after the computers model?
Him: ahhh, good question, because motherboards crack after years of use, this comptuer uses harder motherboards, therefore making the computer faster and work better!
Me: *walk away...*
Click to expand...


AHAHHAHAH WTF?>!!?!?!!!? THE new DELUXE mobo, lasts twice as long as the other normal mobo's, because they dont BREAK as often........
 
D

Dngrsone

VIP Member
Motoxrdude said:
lol thats crazy!!! Has anyone ever have a mother board just snap on them without opening the case?!?!?!?!
Click to expand...

Well, there was that one time when a car crashed into teh building. The deluxe boards were fine, but the other ones... trashed. :rolleyes:
 
Ku-sama

Ku-sama

banned
a funny ass convo at best buy

Me: Where's your Memory at?
GS: Over there *walks me to it*
Me: thanks
GS: sure, are you interested in upgrading your processor as well?
Me: i dunno, what do you have
GS: well, we can get you a 4GHz P4EE
Me: uhm... they dont make them that fast, and that processor sucks for what i do
GS: but if you buy this Heatsink and Fan assembly, then you can overclock it to 4GHz
Me: i have a 2.4GHz AMD Athlon 4000+ San Deigo
GS: AMD's are horrible and slow, only 2.4GHz?
Me: not at gaming, and the X2's are whooping the crap out of every Intel at multitasking
GS: bull, i have my 4GHz P4EE overclocked in the back, do you have your system with you?
Me: Yup, in the car
GS: get it, we'll run 3DMark06
Me: ;) okay sweat pea
GS: and ill even overclock mine futher just to show you mine is surpreme
Me: fine by me *runs out to my moms card and gets comp*
GS: your lucky i cant push farther the 4.1, it gets too hot
Me: Stupid Intels, my processor is always under 90F even while overclocking
GS: cause its slow
Me: alright then *overclocks to 2.8GHz pure HTT@234 :D*
GS: okay, lets bench


Results are:
Me: 29XX
Him: 7XX

turns out he thought gaming was all about how fast your GHz are, not the fact you have a FX5600 with 512MB of system RAM :p

pfft..... n00bs
 
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34erd

34erd

New Member
Lol... what was the look on his face and what did he say... he sure got pwnd by you lol.

I need to try that... Next time I go to bestbuy I have to send my parents off to buy headphones or something and then tape record the GS being an idiot lol...
 
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Geoff

Geoff

VIP Member
that was hilarious, makes me want to go to best buy and pretend to be a noob even more then before :p

And did you really want to buy RAM from Best Buy?
 
ReturnToEmpire

ReturnToEmpire

New Member
geoff5093 said:
that was hilarious, makes me want to go to best buy and pretend to be a noob even more then before :p

And did you really want to buy RAM from Best Buy?
Click to expand...
lol, my friend works at best buy not on the geek squad though. bt i do get decent discounts on dvd burners and the such.
 
Ku-sama

Ku-sama

banned
geoff5093 said:
that was hilarious, makes me want to go to best buy and pretend to be a noob even more then before :p

And did you really want to buy RAM from Best Buy?
Click to expand...

just wanted to look at what they had, check for deals, ya know
 
DCIScouts

DCIScouts

VIP Member
I just have five words to respond to this: I hate the Geek Squad. (I could give multiple examples of their stupidity, but not worth the time...)
 
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